MSN contacts/ Addiction/ Fasting

 This is kind of crossing the realm between blogging “life” and  sharing my personal struggles that sometimes I only draft but never publish.  Here goes anyways: An email I sent out to all my msn messenger contacts.

 Hey folks.
 
I’ve decided to write a short letter to all my msn contacts…please take the next 5 minutes to read over.
 
I wanted to first off say that I am an msn junkie.  Many times we (or maybe it’s just I) tend to joke about certain ‘addictions’ we have- the things we hold onto tightly. For me, I’m slowly learning MSN is seriously, legitimately, one of them.  Yea…actually I’ve known this for a long time and even dates back to high school, but I have always denied the reality.  Essentially- It has become a comfort zone for me- a comfort zone in a bad way.  It has become something familiar that I can fall back onto in stress, in times of struggle or just plain boredom. I love to be with people…and in those times where I’m alone, my first thought is ‘I wonder if there anyone on msn’.  This is extremely bad and unhealthy.
 
I find myself on msn messenger at work, at home, in the morning, night and afternoon.  Why is this? Because I’m comfortable with the relationships I’ve built and love the people who I chat with on a regular basis.  Here’s the problem: it has become a huge distraction and hindrance.  It is hindering my spirituality, my relationships here in Sidney both job-wise and socially; it really doesn’t help with the headaches either.   
 
I need a break…and I need to be committed to breaking this ‘comfort zone’ in my life.  It IS a distraction and although it fixes a ’short term’ satisfaction it kills my long term relationships with people.  …even more…I think of Jessie and our relationship.  It would kill me to think that msn may take away from the building of our trust and love.
 
I guess what I’m trying to say is: I’m taking a break.  A 40 day break….without msn messenger. From October 20th to November 28th I will be committed to staying away from messenger all together.  This is not the challenge- I have full confidence that I will be able to achieve this.  The problem will be the desire to replace it with something else that is just as unhealthy.  This will be in my mind as well…playing MADDEN 07 instead of msning will not help this addiction.  I once did 40 days without television…yet replaced it with being on the computer- on msn all the time.  NOT HELPFUL.
 
Sooo…with that being said…I will see you soon.  I will be honest: I am going to still use facebook as there are a lot of neat things happening that are blessing me (legitimate bible study groups, church plant discussions in pendana, etc) as well as SKYPE and my WordPress Blog (www.desertthirst.wordpress.com). My hotmail account (christiangowan@hotmail.com) and my church army account (christiangowan@churcharmy.com) will continue to be active during this time.  But NO MSN Messenger because I’m legitimately obsessed with being on it so much of my day.
 
 Please continue to encourage and lift me up in prayer during this time.  I know it will be difficult and stressful.  but it IS possible.  Hopefully you’ll miss my conversations…hahaha. man.    
 
I hope it does not happen…BUT PLEASE! CALL ME ON MY INTENTIONS IF YOU SEE ME ON MSN!!!
…and if you’d like to join me on this 40 day time away from MSN MESSENGER…please email me back.  It would be a blessing to have someone to encourage and be encouraged by in this time.  It’s October 18th already…October 20th is just around the corner.  This saturday is when the commitment begins. 
 
Thanks a bunch,
 
 ……..not just an ‘icon’
Signing off
 
Capt. Christian Gowan

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