Praying a prayer and the decisions of life
Staple or Paper Clip?
Book or Movie?
Friend or Foe?
Apple or Orange?
Good or Evil?
Healthy or Unhealthy?
Work or Play?
Attack or Defend?
Transparent or Fake?
Positive or Negitive?
Freedom or Confinment?
Bible or Football?
Computer or Compassion?
…take them as you’d like. Some were healthy choices. Others were not.
This is my attempt to pray when I don’t feel like praying. Excuse my rambling.
Jesus, I’m tired of living for myself. I’m tired of being for me. I want to live for my family, my friends, my future-wife. i want to live in their brokeness, their hurt; to live in the hopelessness of others, to bring hope to them. I want to be a source of laughter. Of Joy- Of truth- of sincerity. But first Jesus, help me to forgive myself so I might be forgiving and compassionate to others. I need rest. I need refilling…I need you. I cannot do this on my own. All the programs, the time tables, the daily routines are useless without your guidance…your leading of the Holy Spirit. Give me a passion to reach out to others not just as a job description, but as a lifestyle. a heart to heal, to serve, to surrender measly personal gain. Jesus help me to deny myself, yet at the same time never to deny my needs. I need friends to comfort, to encourage, to pray, to passionately pursue You…I need them at my side.
…I pray for my future wife. I cannot wait to worship You with her in my arms….at my side. I cannot wait to passionately pursue You with her in the midst of my tears. Jesus, I pray for my marriage. Ohh, the pain of today’s North American mindset of marriage and statistics. Jesus, I’m in complete wonder how you’ve given me such a beautiful wife. Help us to seek you out in praying together, reading the word together, being one in your spirit together. I ask, oh Lord, how did I deserve such a blessing?!? You indeed are good. God- Help me to pursue you in righteousness. Help in the midst of my impurities. I need you more than ever in this time of seperation.
…why do I feel so seperated from you God?
I’ve been feeling so alone lately. Never Lonely. Alone though. God- I can sense you, but I need to hear your voice, I need to see your face once again. I do not want to utter those ’Godless words’ of ‘my God, my God, why have you forsaken me’….keep my close to your side even in the midst of my ignorance towards your very presence. Help me jesus help me.
Tears…i’ve always been afraid of tears. Help me to be more open to tears Jesus. Help me to cry right now Lord…no…don’t…it’s 1:00 am. I need to serve you tomorrow morning. This is silly…why aren’t I using my nights wisely….mmm…help me to forgive myself….back to tears. No doubt - you were the one who wept for your friends. I want to weep for the lazurus’ in my life…but I feel so…dead.
UNRAVEL THEse graveclothes…I need to feel alive again.
Help me to take up my cross and follow you. Help me to get up every morning to seek you out. Help me to put you above everything. Help me to choose you in the midst of my brokenness. Help me to make the right decisions. Decisions are important.
i’m deciding to end this post here and go to bed…
I want to get up in the morning and worship you. Remind me of that God. Thk u.
Filed under: Holy Spirit, Jesus, The Church, attitude, emotion, health, prayer, radical, thought of the day | Tagged: Character of God, humble, prayer, revelation
I like what you’re written here about your future-wife. I’ve been in and out of relationships since I was a teenager trying to find a companion. Since I began dating I’ve been slapped in the face with rejection and heartache, until this year when I’d finally decided I’d had enough. At this point I’ve tossed dating on the shelf praying that I will become that ‘ virtuous woman’ of God, in hopes that I will find ‘a’ companion. What you have written here has comforted me, and I’m thankful that I ran across it.
Jennifer
[...] anyways… I googled the topic and found this other blog OTHER BLOG and found on it the following which I couldn’t agree with more “I pray for my future [...]
I just happened to ran across your blog. I normally, do not comment other people’s blog. But, wow, as i was reading this entry, I was thinking this sounds so like me. It’s nice to know that I am not alone. Thanks for sharing, and hope others will find comfort as well.